Heartfelt and Hilarious Thanksgiving Stories: Gobble, Gobble.
Join the Misfit Preachers as they dive into heartfelt Thanksgiving memories, both joyful and awkward, reflecting on the complexities of family gatherings. The conversation kicks off with each speaker sharing their favorite Thanksgiving moments, highlighting the significance of football games and cherished traditions. Alongside laughter, they touch on the more challenging aspects of Thanksgiving, including feelings of loneliness and the struggle of navigating family dynamics. The hosts share personal stories of redemption and gratitude, emphasizing the importance of connection and community, especially during the holiday season. This episode offers a blend of humor and sincerity, reminding listeners that no matter the chaos of family life, there is always a reason to be thankful.
The essence of Thanksgiving is captured in the heartfelt recollections of three pastors as they navigate a tapestry of memories, both joyous and poignant. Byron, Tullian, and Jean discuss their favorite Thanksgiving traditions, notably their shared experiences of playing football, a tradition that symbolizes camaraderie and friendly competition. Each pastor shares personal anecdotes that shed light on how these memories shaped their identities and relationships with their families. Tullian's vivid recollections of childhood football games reveal not only the excitement of the sport but also the sense of belonging that comes from community participation. Their stories resonate with the listener, painting a picture of how Thanksgiving has historically been intertwined with family, food, and fun.
As the conversation deepens, they delve into the complexities of Thanksgiving gatherings, touching on the potential for awkwardness and tension that can arise within families. Tullian opens up about a particularly challenging Thanksgiving spent with family, highlighting the need for compassion and understanding during trying times. This candid discussion serves as a reminder that while Thanksgiving is often a season of gratitude, it can also bring forth feelings of loneliness and disconnection for some. The pastors encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences, whether filled with joy or tinged with sadness, and to find solace in the shared nature of these emotions.
The episode ultimately transitions to a celebration of gratitude and reconnection. Each pastor articulates what they are thankful for, with stories of personal growth, healing, and the importance of community taking center stage. Byron's touching reunion with his sister showcases the power of forgiveness and love, illustrating how relationships can be mended even after years of separation. Their dialogue emphasizes that Thanksgiving is not just about the food or the festivities; it's about the connections we forge and the resilience we cultivate. By encouraging listeners to embrace their own stories, the pastors create a space for reflection and hope, reminding everyone that gratitude can flourish even in the most challenging circumstances.
Takeaways:
- The hosts share their favorite Thanksgiving memories, emphasizing the importance of family and community.
- Thanksgiving gatherings can be bittersweet, highlighting both joyful and painful memories for many.
- The conversation touches on the significance of gratitude, especially after experiencing hardship and trauma.
- Football traditions during Thanksgiving create lasting memories, showing how sports bring families together.
- The episode emphasizes the theme of redemption, showcasing personal growth and reconciliation in relationships.
- Each host reflects on what Thanksgiving means to them, revealing personal insights and experiences.
Transcript
Around the table.
Byron:Favorite Thanksgiving memory and crickets.
Tullian:Thanksgiving Day football games were no joke.
Tullian:We weren't out there to have fun.
Tullian:We were out there to win, period.
Jean:As a 10 year old kid, to have seven teenage boys, I mean, I thought I was at the Super Bowl.
Byron:What people didn't know is that our quarterback played Canadian professional football.
Jean:My last name being LaRue.
Jean:In kindergarten, they started calling me Poo Poo.
Byron:Larue would walk through church, people would just see if it worked and I'd walk by and they go, hey, boo.
Byron:I would go, yeah.
Tullian:So will that be Your grandfather name?
Byron:100%.
Jean:I like it.
Tullian:But I will tell you, my wife Stacy makes the best.
Tullian:I'm not bringing berry cake I have ever had.
Tullian:The first time she made it, I took one bite and I said, get this out of the house.
Tullian:Ow.
Tullian:And don't ever make it again.
Tullian:You're listening to the Misfit Preachers, Talian Chavidjian, Jean Leroux and Byron Yan from ProdigalPodcast.com.
Tullian:we're plagiarizing Jesus one podcast at a time.
Tullian:Now here are the misfits.
Byron:This is Misfit Preachers.
Byron:Yes, I'm here with Jean Leroux and Tully and Tevidgeon.
Byron:We want to triangulate a welcome to you, to our Thanksgiving celebration extraordinaire.
Jean:Gobble, gobble.
Byron:All right, so we're going to do what we always do, which is to take the script that's been handed to us and drop it in the shredder.
Byron:We're not going.
Jean:I want to talk about what I'm thankful for.
Byron:We're not going to talk about thankfulness and hedonic adaptation, John, like you wanted to.
Byron:We're not going to talk about mindfulness and why gratitude journals are good or any of that.
Byron:We're going straight for the bad mood attitude.
Byron:Thanksgiving.
Byron:I'm kidding.
Byron:It's going to be fun and we're going to get to learn the peculiarities of each of us and maybe give some hints.
Byron:We are the Martha Stewarts of misfit preachers.
Byron:You guys ready to go?
Jean:I would love.
Jean:I think that's listening.
Byron:If you're listening today.
Byron:And maybe you're at Thanksgiving and you're.
Jean:With family or on the way.
Jean:You could be on the way to spend Thanksgiving Day with the people you love.
Byron:Yeah, on the way.
Byron:Or let's say you're there and you're.
Byron:How could we say it?
Byron:Depressed and ready to leave.
Jean:Sad.
Byron:We're here for you.
Byron:That's what we're doing.
Byron:So give it a listen, give it a spin.
Byron:You ready guys?
Byron:Ready around the table.
Byron:Favorite Thanksgiving memory and crickets.
Jean:Favorite Thanksgiving memory would be we always had a neighborhood football game with all the boys after Thanksgiving.
Jean:So it would probably 1:00.
Jean:People would start.
Jean:We had these guys that live behind us named the Stifles.
Jean:They had seven boys and I mean it was, it was literally the greatest as a 10 year old kid to have seven teenage boys.
Jean:I mean I thought I was at the Super Bowl.
Tullian:Yeah, I would agree.
Tullian:Afternoon football games on Thanksgiving Day.
Tullian:The Cowboys usually come on at 4, so it would have to be before the game, sometime between eating and the cowboy game starting every year growing up and when I was older, when I got older, we would have it in the morning.
Tullian:I would get my kids out of the house, we would go to a field where we would meet a bunch of other people and we would play from like 9 to 12.
Tullian:And it was, it was serious, it was no joke.
Tullian:Our Thanksgiving Day football games were no joke.
Tullian:We weren't out there to have fun.
Tullian:We were out there to win, period.
Byron:My, my favorite Thanksgiving memory doesn't involve any of my family because we were in California at the time, Los Angeles, going to school.
Byron:And a friend of mine said, hey, why don't you come join us for the Air it out, the early official flag football organization, like the nationwide thing.
Byron:And they had like pro level, amateur level, and then this level called Joe Average, just novices.
Byron:I played high school football, signed in college and then bounced.
Byron:But so our name, well, we had to come up with a name.
Byron:So we called ourselves Joe Average.
Byron:What people didn't know is that our quarterback played Canadian professional football.
Byron:And we won our division straight through.
Jean:Straight run and won Thanksgiving Day.
Byron:Routing Thanksgiving Day Balboa Basin park in Los Angeles, in the Los Angeles area, down in the valley.
Byron:And I caught the winning touchdown.
Tullian:How can you top that?
Tullian:You can't.
Tullian:That you will go to your grave and not have a better Thanksgiving Day memory.
Byron:I don't think I will.
Byron:Just like the stories I tell my sons about that one time.
Tullian:How old were you at the time on the line?
Byron:23.
Tullian:Do you, when you would play, would you try to envision a professional player that you wanted to play?
Byron:Like when I played in high school, I was running back, so definitely an Emmitt Smith sort of guy.
Byron:In my mind at that time on the field of play in Balboa Park, I was snapping the ball so it would be other brother Kelsey at this point.
Byron:But they didn't expect us.
Byron:And the thing was, I was calling up plays.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:Scratch routes.
Tullian:And isn't it fun?
Byron:Double hitches and that kind of thing.
Tullian:So fun.
Byron:I said, I'm not.
Byron:Don't throw me a pass all game.
Byron:And when we need it, I have surprising speed.
Byron:What was your 40?
Tullian:I don't remember.
Tullian:I'm fast, though.
Byron:In the day.
Tullian:That's the one thing I got.
Tullian:I got high cabs in the day, which don't look good, but that's what all the sprinters have.
Tullian:And the wide receivers.
Tullian:Yeah.
Tullian:You've got cabs.
Jean:He does.
Byron:I ran about a 4, 8 in high school.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:Anyway, so at the last minute, we called the play.
Jean:You did it.
Byron:They let me go, didn't keep their eye on me, and I was like.
Byron:It was great.
Jean:Solid.
Byron:And then we had people over to our house, our apartment, and made them a Southern Thanksgiving.
Jean:Love it.
Tullian:Great memory.
Byron:All right.
Byron:It is not Thanksgiving without blank.
Byron:It is not Thanksgiving without blank.
Tullian:I mean, for me.
Jean:Dallas Cowboy football, they always play the Redskins on.
Tullian:Not always.
Byron:There's a footnote here.
Jean:Close.
Byron:Except for the Dallas Cowboys.
Tullian:I mean, had to be my whole day.
Tullian:Every Thanksgiving was geared toward the kickoff of the Cowboy game.
Tullian:Whoever they were playing every year, it still is.
Tullian:My boys, adults that they are, will have their own Thanksgiving in the morning.
Tullian:They will.
Tullian:They will convene at my house for the game to this day.
Tullian:Yeah, that.
Tullian:That is the highlight for me.
Jean:Yeah.
Jean:Mine is football as well.
Jean:The Ole Miss Mississippi State game.
Jean:The Egg bowl is on Thanksgiving Day every.
Jean:Until this year, of course.
Jean:It's not really.
Jean:Yes.
Tullian:That's a game that.
Tullian:But that's a game that's been on Thanksgiving every.
Jean:Forever.
Jean:And they moved it.
Jean:They moved it to Friday this year.
Jean:I don't know why they did, but.
Jean:So we'll be there Friday.
Jean:But my favorite part is that I got married on Thanksgiving to Val.
Tullian:Wow.
Jean:Yeah.
Jean:We got married.
Jean:We got married in the morning before the football.
Jean:You gotta love this woman.
Jean:We got married on the square in Oxford, Mississippi, before the football game.
Jean:Had our reception in a bar on Oxford Square.
Jean:Took a rickshaw from the square to the grove and ate chicken wings and drank beer as our reception.
Jean:And she wore that dress and rocked it all day.
Tullian:That's awesome.
Byron:That is the greatest.
Byron:Thanks.
Byron:Wedding.
Tullian:Yes.
Byron:Description.
Byron:I've ever heard.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:I knew there were rickshaws.
Byron:I know Oxford well.
Jean:It's like a bike rickshaw.
Jean:I don't know.
Jean:There wasn't actually somebody with two sticks running.
Jean:I mean, I'm not in Bangladesh.
Byron:Well, that's.
Byron:That's what a rickshaw means.
Byron:That's what.
Byron:That's what I had in mind then.
Jean:I was on a trike.
Byron:Got it.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:Did it.
Byron:Bing, bing, Jing, jing.
Jean:A guy left a manufacturing plant in a tricycle and put us in the basket.
Byron:That's fantastic.
Jean:I know.
Jean:Thank you for ruining my story.
Byron:So it is not Thanksgiving without thanks.
Byron:Wedding?
Byron:Is that what you're saying?
Jean:Guest wedding without an anniversary?
Byron:Yeah.
Byron:Do you.
Jean:I celebrated on Thanksgiving.
Jean:There is an actual date that Valerie celebrates, but I consider the day to be our anniversary.
Byron:You want to give anything else to give us some color in your life because you're developing monochromatic descriptions.
Tullian:No one has ever said that to me.
Jean:I think that's the farthest thing from the truth about.
Byron:I don't want you to go there.
Byron:You're not that brother.
Byron:That's what I'm trying to say.
Tullian:Thank you.
Tullian:I appreciate it.
Tullian:That's what friends are for.
Tullian:It is not Thanksgiving without.
Tullian:I mean, at this stage in my life.
Tullian:This is going to sound boring.
Byron:No.
Tullian:My kids and grandkids.
Byron:There it is.
Tullian:I've got three grandkids.
Byron:What do they call you again?
Tullian:Tutu.
Byron:That's so good.
Tullian:Tutu was my childhood.
Tullian:My childhood nickname because my brothers and sisters couldn't say Tullian.
Tullian:So my dad said, we'll just call him Tutu.
Tullian:I heard Tutu from the time I was 2 years old.
Tullian:So when I outgrew that name.
Tullian:This is long before I had grandkids.
Tullian:I mean, I'm in my late teens, early 20s.
Tullian:And I determined that when I eventually became a grandfather, I would resurrect my childhood nickname and my grandkids would call me Tutu.
Tullian:So that's what they call me.
Byron:That's so cool.
Byron:I like it.
Jean:Did you have a nickname?
Jean:Childhood nickname?
Byron:Did I have a childhood nickname?
Byron:I did.
Byron:My mother disliked.
Byron:That's in quotes.
Byron:My biological father so much that he named me Byron Forrest.
Byron:It was Byron Forrest Wells at the time, before I got adopted.
Byron:She hated him so much that she changed my name.
Byron:In fact, my biological father named my sister Stacy Stacy Jelaine Wells middle name after the most beautiful woman he ever saw, not my mother.
Byron:True story.
Byron:So at some point.
Jean:Sounds like a real charmer.
Byron:Yeah, he was good.
Byron:Let's say he was good for growing hair and creating carbon dioxide.
Byron:That's really his wheelhouse.
Byron:But my mom wouldn't call me that.
Byron:And so it started with Boo Boo Turley, which I have no idea where that came from.
Byron:Hey, Boo Boo Turley.
Byron:And then it went from that to Boo Boo.
Byron:And then it went from that to Boo.
Byron:And from my entire childhood up until the time I literally went to seminary around the age of 22, 23.
Byron:Master's degree even through that.
Byron:And then when I got my first church, I changed it back, but it's Boo Boo.
Byron:And I would.
Jean:Like Halloween.
Byron:Yeah.
Byron:I would walk through church and people would just see if it worked.
Byron:And I'd walk by and they go, hey, Boo.
Byron:I would go, yeah, there we go.
Byron:They would turn to each other.
Tullian:So will that be your grandfather name?
Byron:100%.
Tullian:I.
Tullian:It should be.
Jean:I'm not sure I can use my nickname as my grandfather name.
Byron:What is.
Byron:I was gonna.
Byron:What was it?
Jean:Well, you know, when you're a kid, you get nicknames because of things.
Jean:Well, regular names because it rhymes with the name.
Jean:I don't know what rhymes with trivision, but religion.
Jean:My last name being Larue.
Jean:In kindergarten, they started calling me Poo Poo Larue.
Jean:I'm telling you.
Byron:You're literally gonna say that to us.
Jean:I'm telling you.
Jean:When my mother died and I was in the receiving line at Edmund Fay Funeral home in Bay St.
Jean:Louis, Mississippi, this guy walks up and he goes, I'm really sorry.
Jean:Poo Poo.
Jean:My niece.
Tullian:Love that.
Jean:My niece and nephew Charlie and Helen call me Uncle Poo Poo.
Tullian:But I actually, when.
Tullian:Whenever I'm around anybody, an adult that's known me my whole life and they call me Tutu, that is endearing to me.
Tullian:And they don't do it because they're trying to be funny.
Tullian:No, that's what they called me.
Jean:That person wasn't being cute.
Jean:That's how they know me.
Tullian:Absolutely.
Tullian:Yeah.
Tullian:Yeah.
Tullian:I love that.
Jean:It's very endearing.
Byron:Going back to another question we asked another time from the Cuba frivolity.
Byron:One of the weird habits I have is that if I, if.
Byron:If I'm.
Byron:If I get close to somebody, a friend and friendship for a while, I'll call them by their middle name.
Tullian:Really?
Byron:So my, My friend Scott.
Tullian:That's why you call me Tullian.
Tullian:That is my middle name.
Jean:His middle name.
Tullian:You didn't even know you were doing it.
Jean:Second middle name.
Tullian:Right.
Byron:Well, when we become friends, I'll dig in there.
Byron:Goodnight, Glee.
Byron:Boom.
Jean:Take that Thanksgiving.
Jean:It's feeling just like my family's Thanksgiving.
Byron:So Scott Slay that I mentioned, this guy's getting tons of shout outs.
Byron:Really great guy.
Byron:His middle name's Horace.
Byron:I am the only one in his life that calls him Horace.
Byron:And I saw him recently and he for the first time in a long time and he goes, I've missed you, man.
Byron:I go, what have you missed?
Byron:And he goes, you're the only person that calls me Horace and I like to hear it.
Byron:And then just my brother in law Thomas Larry Dickinson and I call him Larry.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:And it's weird.
Byron:All right, nice.
Byron:Moving on.
Jean:Yes.
Byron:Item number three on this really joyful Thanksgiving discussion.
Byron:Ironically, biggest family blow up at Thanksgiving you've ever experienced.
Tullian:Oh, I don't remember the biggest family blow up, but I remember the most awkward feeling Thanksgiving.
Tullian:Oh, it was Thanksgiving.
Byron:You've got my attention.
Tullian:2015 post all of my shit happening.
Tullian:And I was living in Orlando at the time.
Tullian:My first wife and I were not yet divorced.
Tullian:We were about a month away, two months away from it being finalized.
Tullian:I drove from Orlando back to South Florida, back into my home with my then wife Kim and my three kids and my daughter in law at the time and my grandson.
Tullian:And I don't remember there being any kind of blow up.
Tullian:I don't remember there being any kind of knockdown, drag out, shouting match fight.
Tullian:But I remember everyone around the table felt awkward and I thought it would be a good idea after everything everyone was.
Tullian:Had gone through and is going through.
Tullian:Have Thanksgiving as a family.
Tullian:And it turned out that that was.
Byron:You brought the awkward salad.
Tullian:Yeah, we all brought the awkward salad.
Jean:Was it super quiet?
Jean:Like just a lot.
Tullian:Never quiet in our home as you can imagine.
Tullian:But it was.
Tullian:It was awkward.
Tullian:It was awkward.
Tullian:There were some tense moments, but nothing, you know.
Jean:Yeah.
Jean:No crazy.
Byron:Yeah.
Jean:No.
Jean:Nine went.
Tullian:It was weird.
Byron:Yeah.
Byron:And in these sorts of circumstances, broadly you do.
Byron:There's a moment where you have to pierce the awkward.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:And then it gets better as you go.
Byron:So my biggest Thanksgiving blow up is me.
Byron:So what's the saddest song that you can think of, John?
Byron:The saddest.
Jean:Saddest song.
Byron:I guess Saddest song.
Byron:Go to your playlist.
Byron:What's our go to sad song that.
Jean:We all by myself.
Jean:Sorry you didn't.
Jean:I mean I was trying to follow you.
Byron:I wanted you to get it so that people would know we're friends.
Byron:But if.
Byron:If the listener could cue that up in their head or literally cue it up, I'll tell my story.
Byron:I haven't been invited to a family Thanksgiving or Christmas or any event in five years.
Byron:Five years.
Tullian:That is like extended family.
Byron:Yeah.
Jean:You're not talking about your kids?
Byron:Oh no, my kids.
Byron:We do the normal.
Tullian:Right Right.
Tullian:That is your family, by the way.
Tullian:I have to remind my siblings that all the time and my mother from time to time.
Tullian:I love you guys.
Tullian:Grateful for you guys.
Tullian:But when I think of my family, it is my wife, my kids, my grandkids.
Tullian:I got my tribe.
Byron:Nice, nice.
Byron:Anyway, PD party.
Jean:I am thinking, I'm trying to think of the worst family.
Jean:You know there isn't really one that sticks out.
Byron:Are you saying that there's so many that it's hard to pick one?
Jean:That might be what.
Byron:I'm not the exception, it's the rule.
Jean:That might be what I'm saying.
Jean:I can remember several of them being somewhat awkward but no real major blow up.
Jean:I remember a pretty significant fight in about 84ish when my dad, My dad had this great idea.
Jean:We were gonna.
Jean:He lived over in Clearwater beach.
Jean:We were gonna do the turkey trot as a family.
Jean:Like there are Thanksgiving, Family day.
Jean:It was like a total rebellion.
Jean:Like we.
Jean:I don't want to go run a 5k right.
Jean:Ever.
Jean:Especially on Thanksgiving.
Byron:If you ask you to do something.
Byron:If I ask you to do something, you say no and I go, you sure you want to?
Byron:I never go to the third request.
Byron:Never.
Jean:No, no.
Jean:I'm venturing Crystal.
Byron:He tells you no.
Jean:It's a hard no.
Byron:It's hard.
Tullian:Yeah.
Tullian:Very similar.
Byron:Yeah.
Byron:I just don't get asked to do things.
Byron:All right, not you, Byron.
Jean:If you're available, we can take some email invitations for sure.
Tullian:I mean poor Byron.
Tullian:Yeah, somebody invite this pathetic person.
Jean:Email to Byron at somewhere in the United States.
Jean:Calm.
Byron:Yeah, rent a loser at.
Jean:Don't say that.
Jean:Tutu.
Jean:Oh, you're tutu.
Jean:What is your boo?
Jean:Don't say that.
Jean:Boo.
Tullian:Boo.
Byron:Boo.
Byron:All right.
Byron:Turkey or ham?
Jean:Turkey.
Tullian:Ham.
Tullian:Honey baked ham.
Tullian:Oh man, not even close.
Tullian:I mean I like turkey, but if I had to choose between the two.
Tullian:Honey baked ham.
Byron:Yeah, I'm turkey.
Byron:But deep fried.
Jean:Agreed.
Jean:I was just about to.
Tullian:That's not true.
Tullian:In the last three years, I can't remember which Thanksgiving it was.
Tullian:First time I ever had a fried one.
Tullian:I had heard about deep fried turkey for decades.
Tullian:Had never had it.
Tullian:It's good.
Jean:I had.
Jean:One of my most favorite Thanksgiving memories is we had some neighbors when we lived in Huntsville named the Jacobs.
Jean:And so Steve and I would fry turkeys together.
Jean:I mean because if you go through the drama of heating up, you know, five gallons of oil, it's.
Jean:You want to do more than one turkey.
Jean:So we would fry them and there was, there was a Thanksgiving when we brought it out of the fryer, put it on the counter to carve it and everybody went to the counter and picked it to the bone and no turkey made it to the table.
Byron:Wow.
Jean:Everybody.
Jean:It was our favorite.
Jean:Everybody's like, that was the best Thanksgiving turkey because it was hot and the crust, and the crust.
Byron:So what we would do is just buy turkey breasts.
Jean:Huh?
Tullian:Not a whole turkey.
Byron:And you.
Byron:Because they cook faster and so we'd have like six and deep fry.
Byron:Yeah.
Jean:Oh, I've never done that.
Jean:I've only done the whole one.
Byron:The.
Byron:The year.
Jean:Done a turducken.
Byron:Oh, yeah, my dad did.
Byron:I did.
Jean:Okay.
Tullian:I popularized the turducken.
Byron:John Madden, well done.
Jean:Pass.
Tullian:The greatest sports announcer of all time.
Tullian:And there will never ever be one that even comes.
Jean:And the best duo.
Byron:Oh, I would.
Tullian:You know, Michael, John Madden.
Tullian:John Madden was a master teacher who just happened to be a commentator.
Byron:Back to when I won the aired out flag football championship with Balboa park on that Thanksgiving Day.
Jean:Was it really?
Tullian:I have a feeling this is going to be referenced a lot.
Jean:I know, I know.
Jean:Is it really called Balboa Park?
Byron:Balboa Basin Park.
Jean:Is that like from Arrested Development?
Jean:Like Balboa Island.
Byron:It's in that area where they film.
Jean:I love Arrested Development.
Byron:I played the golf course there too.
Byron:It's a great muni.
Byron:Anyway, long story.
Byron:I went home to fry a turkey for the first time by myself, having watched my dad do it.
Byron:And I walked out on a porch, balconies about the size of this table overheated, the oil dropped in the turkey and guess what happened?
Jean:Fire.
Jean:Yeah, it's a bomb.
Byron:Burnt our curtains, almost burnt the thing down.
Byron:And I'm out there going like this so that the soup doesn't see me and it's like it's.
Jean:It's a bomb.
Byron:How about sliced turkey from Kroger?
Byron:So it was terrible.
Byron:I was a total more on move.
Byron:All right, cranberry salad or cranberry out of the can like the.
Jean:With the ribs on it still where you can see the lines.
Byron:See the can line?
Byron:Yes.
Byron:I think I gave away my answer.
Tullian:I'm not a huge fan of cranberry, but I would have to go cranberry from the can.
Jean:Yeah, I like the salad if it's good, but I'm a can guy.
Jean:Yeah, like that.
Jean:There's some.
Jean:Just a little bit of sweet to go with the savory on the, on the turkey.
Byron:I know, but what is it about the canned.
Jean:It's the ribs.
Jean:It's the canned shape everybody want.
Jean:I always try and cut it on the, on the things.
Byron:It's that turkey.
Byron:I mean that turkey.
Byron:The texture of it.
Tullian:Yeah, I'm wholeheartedly agree.
Tullian:It's the texture.
Byron:Huge texture guy.
Tullian:Me too.
Byron:And the next day.
Jean:Oh, even better.
Jean:Turkey sandwich.
Byron:Turkey sandwich.
Byron:And it's got.
Byron:You got a perfect slice.
Byron:And I go to Trader Joe's and I get wasabi mayonnaise.
Jean:What else?
Byron:Mayonnaise.
Byron:Wasabi mayonnaise.
Tullian:I'm not a real mayonnaise guy.
Tullian:I don't mind it.
Tullian:But wasabi mayonnaise.
Tullian:Wasabi mayonnaise.
Tullian:I have had.
Tullian:Yeah, of course.
Tullian:Just wasabi.
Tullian:Anything is good.
Byron:Two wonderful discs of sliced cranberry.
Byron:Stop doing that so yours.
Byron:Can, can, can.
Byron:And it doesn't matter anyway because the cranberry salad always gets left in the refrigerator.
Byron:And somebody goes the salad.
Jean:Right.
Byron:That works.
Byron:Um, what does that say?
Jean:I can't read my writing.
Jean:Oh, do you watch the parade or not?
Tullian:I like it when it's on in the background.
Tullian:It's festive to me, but I don't sit and watch it.
Tullian:Really not.
Jean:I mean, if you were gonna watch.
Jean:Which, which channel?
Jean:Abc, cbs, NBC, Fox.
Tullian:I mean, I don't even know.
Tullian:I mean, ABC pops in my head.
Byron:I don't even know why I'm NBC because I want to see if Al Roker kept the weight off.
Tullian:It's true.
Tullian:NBC.
Tullian:I'm changing my answer.
Jean:NBC.
Jean:Are you a parade guy, Byron?
Byron:No, I don't like parades.
Byron:I don't like carnivals.
Byron:I don't like rodeos.
Byron:I don't like.
Byron:I love state fairs.
Jean:Yeah.
Jean:Because I was getting a clown theme going.
Jean:I was wondering whether you just.
Byron:It's not really about that.
Jean:Had a party that was win awry.
Byron:It's not really phobias.
Byron:But when I was.
Byron:I was in Israel twice and people went, want to go to the Dead Sea.
Byron:And I wouldn't do it because I don't want to get in the dead.
Jean:What does that have to do with not liking carnival?
Byron:Nothing.
Tullian:And what does any of this have to do with Thanksgiving?
Jean:I don't know.
Jean:I'm so confused.
Byron:Dead Sea Jesus near there.
Byron:I'm thankful for him.
Byron:Thanksgiving.
Tullian:And there you go.
Tullian:Well done.
Tullian:I mean, well done.
Jean:We're just two people away from Kevin Bacon.
Tullian:There's a.
Byron:There's a game of that name.
Jean:What's the last one?
Jean:I can't remember.
Jean:I felt like.
Jean:I feel like just now my voice.
Jean:Remember that Brady Bunch?
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:I'm getting a little Horse.
Tullian:Peter's voice was changing.
Jean:Yes, Peter.
Jean:Thank you, Peter.
Byron:All right, poo poo, let's go.
Byron:All right, first of all, pie or cake guy, even if it's not your favorite, if they're on the table, which do you go to?
Jean:Pie.
Tullian:My favorite dessert of all time is strawberry short cake.
Tullian:So by default, I'm.
Tullian:I'm probably more of a cake guy, but you give me pecan pie or apple pie with a little vanilla ice cream on the side.
Jean:Now, do you like straw?
Jean:Like things with strawberries in general?
Jean:Strawberry flavor?
Tullian:Yes, but I don't necessarily like strawberries by themselves.
Tullian:I mean, I eat them.
Jean:There's a strawberry cake from this restaurant called Primo's in Jackson, Mississippi.
Jean:I'm gonna drive it to you for falling in free.
Tullian:Listen, I want it, but I will tell you that my wife Stacy makes the best.
Tullian:I'm not bringing a berry cake I have ever had.
Tullian:The first time she made it, I took one bite and I said, get this out of the house and don't ever make it again.
Tullian:Because, I mean, it is.
Tullian:I don't even know how to describe it.
Tullian:Unbelievable.
Jean:Then I'd absolutely come for falling in free.
Jean:No, you.
Tullian:I want both.
Tullian:Yeah, she'll make it.
Tullian:Okay, we'll eat it.
Jean:Yes.
Byron:I have a fear of strawberries based on trauma that I had that was cycling.
Byron:It was like on a 40 mile loop and about 20 miles.
Byron:I'm in Arrington Vineyard down in Williamson county and there's a farmers market open.
Byron:It's strawberry season.
Byron:So I go in there and just buy a pint of strawberry, get over in a shade and drinking water, protein, that sort of thing.
Byron:And I'm just eating strawberries.
Byron:And they're great.
Byron:Well, you know, it's roughage, you know what I'm saying?
Byron:You just eat straight fruit, it's not going to have a good effect.
Byron:And I'm like five miles on the backside of that trip bike into the woods.
Tullian:I think I know where you're going with this.
Byron:I'm going to leave it there.
Byron:I'm going to leave it there.
Tullian:So you have a bad association with strawberries.
Tullian:It's not that you don't like the taste, it's that you have a bad association.
Jean:I now have a new worst Thanksgiving memory.
Jean:It's right now.
Byron:Let's just say strawberries and bar.
Tullian:Can I change my answer?
Tullian:Some of the worst Thanksgiving memories.
Jean:Final answer now.
Jean:It's live.
Jean:Okay.
Tullian:It's live.
Jean:We'd like to tell Byron's family, who's not been Inviting him.
Jean:Good call.
Tullian:The struggle is real.
Byron:And now I ran out of medication this morning.
Byron:It's all good.
Byron:All right, so we know your.
Byron:Your cake.
Byron:No.
Byron:Your pie.
Jean:No, pie.
Jean:Pie.
Tullian:Pie.
Byron:Cake.
Byron:I'm pie as well.
Jean:All right, so now we're doing flavors.
Byron:Favorite pie at Thanksgiving.
Byron:Oh, like if it doesn't show up, you're angry.
Jean:If it.
Tullian:If pecan pie does not show up at Thanksgiving, it's not Thanksgiving.
Byron:Right.
Tullian:I mean, I love apple pie, too.
Jean:Who doesn't want to drink?
Byron:Thank you for saying it correctly.
Byron:I know you live down in South.
Tullian:Pecan.
Jean:Oh.
Byron:What?
Tullian:Pecan is.
Byron:What's the other word for.
Tullian:For what?
Byron:Carbon carbonated drinks.
Tullian:It's not pop, it's Coke.
Tullian:Right.
Tullian:I don't even.
Tullian:I don't even refer to it as soda.
Tullian:Every soft drink is a Coke.
Jean:Amen.
Byron:I love you, man.
Jean:Final answer.
Byron:Pecan.
Jean:Mmm.
Jean:Probably pumpkin.
Jean:Pumpkin pie.
Jean:Real whipping cream.
Jean:Whipped cream in the cold bowl in the fridge that you just pass by with a spoon.
Jean:Dollop in your mouth.
Byron:There's something about that.
Byron:The nutmeg and a pecan.
Byron:Is it nutmeg in a pumpkin pie?
Jean:It's something else.
Byron:So mine.
Byron:Totally left field.
Byron:You might have never even heard of it.
Jean:It's called strawberry rhubarb Chocolate chess.
Byron:Don't like that.
Byron:Do love that.
Byron:Egg custard pie.
Tullian:Yeah, that's not going down my throat.
Byron:Do you like creme brulee?
Byron:No, that's my favorite dessert.
Byron:Is it?
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:Tiramisu.
Byron:Egg custard pie is like an inside.
Jean:And yours is strawberry shortcake.
Tullian:Strawberry shortcake.
Tullian:It is like strawberry shortcake.
Tullian:Not with angel food cake.
Tullian:I've had it with angel food cake.
Tullian:Not good.
Tullian:Strawberry shortcake done with strawberries.
Tullian:Massive.
Jean:Is it?
Jean:Do you like the little.
Jean:Those little pre formed bowl things?
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:No, it's gotta be.
Tullian:There are some restaurants that serve it that way.
Tullian:And it's good.
Tullian:My older sister, Bibi, we call her, she made the best strawberry shortcake I've ever eaten.
Tullian:She used to make it for me on my birthday every year.
Jean:That's awesome.
Tullian:It's been a long time.
Byron:Well, so, B.B.
Tullian:You owe me.
Tullian:You owe me a.
Tullian:Yeah, we need.
Jean:That down here for someone free, too.
Byron:Let's talk about Thanksgiving.
Jean:Okay.
Byron:Let's talk about Thanksgiving.
Byron:I'm just going to ask the question.
Byron:I'm just going to ask the question that's always asked.
Byron:But I know around this table, profundity is headed our way.
Byron:So what are you guys thankful for right now?
Byron:Like, I never thought that Would happen for me, to me.
Byron:Can't believe I have that.
Byron:So on and so forth.
Byron:Like you picked up the phone to call your best friend so you'll never believe.
Byron:Maybe it hasn't happened at that level.
Tullian:But I think the thing I've been most grateful for, most thankful for over the last five or six years, to be honest with you, is just life.
Tullian:I was dead in the water 10 years ago.
Tullian:No hope, no light at the end of the tunnel.
Tullian:I remember when we, when Stacy and I first moved to Jupiter and we were going to start the sanctuary.
Tullian:And up until that point we had been traveling so much and I was traveling speaking, we didn't really feel like we had a home.
Tullian: nd we rented this tiny little: Tullian:So we love that.
Tullian:Old, dated.
Tullian:And I remember waking up the next morning, the first morning in the shower.
Tullian:I mean, this bath, our bathroom was so small.
Tullian:Stacy and I could barely both get in the bathroom at the same time.
Tullian:And I remember standing in this tiny shower, taking a shower and I start crying.
Tullian:And I think, God, I am so grateful for a roof over my head, a wife that loves me, kids who respect and adore me, a grandson, two at the time, grandsons that I'm close to.
Tullian:I was finally back on the southeast coast of Florida, which was home for me.
Tullian:I had been gone for, you know, four or five years and from that point forward, since we moved to Jupiter.
Tullian:And I now feel like I have a home, a purpose, a job, all that stuff, friends, community, roots.
Tullian:I just, I can't get past the gratitude.
Byron:Can you remember when you thought that you would never have that again?
Tullian:Oh my gosh.
Tullian:Many, many moments I felt like that.
Tullian:I felt like that for a couple years.
Tullian:Yeah.
Tullian:And it.
Tullian:Life looks different now than it did.
Tullian:And there are a lot of things about my former life that I miss.
Tullian:I mean, I was the guy who had this dream of being 80 years old, sitting on the beach with the wife of my youth, surrounded by our kids, grandkids, maybe even great grandkids at the time.
Tullian:My wrinkled hand grabbing her wrinkled hand, looking at her and saying, there were times when I didn't think we'd make it, but here we are.
Tullian:That dream is shattered for me, right?
Tullian:I mean, thank God for my wife Stacy, thank God for my kids, thank God for the blended family that I have.
Tullian:But that original dream is shattered.
Tullian:And as it shattered and as I reflected on the fact that that scenario would never happen, things like that caused me to be very depressed.
Tullian:Despairing, hopeless.
Tullian:And now I love the life that I have.
Tullian:I love the people in my life.
Tullian:I love where I live, I love what I do.
Tullian:And I never in a million years ever thought that I would feel about life the way I feel about life now.
Tullian:Post crashing and burning, post bottoming out, which I think should give hope to someone who is now where I was eight years ago, thinking my life is over or it's.
Tullian:I'm never going to enjoy life again.
Tullian:So I'm, I am filled with gratitude.
Tullian:God is so much more gracious and so much more loving and so much more giving than I ever thought.
Tullian:It's crazy to me.
Tullian:It's crazy to me.
Byron:Thanks for sharing, man.
Byron:Great answer.
Jean:Yeah, I'm super mindful when you said that, of the fact that there are men and women in a hotel room in that one bedroom apartment that are going, this Thursday is going to be the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had.
Tullian:Yes.
Jean:I mean that ball is teed up.
Tullian:And you're maybe the first Thanksgiving post divorce alone.
Jean:Right.
Jean:They're gone.
Jean:And it doesn't matter how they're gone.
Jean:Death, sadness, divorce, it just hurts.
Jean:And I know for me, I would sit there and I, true Thanksgiving fashion, just marinate in my own sorrow.
Jean:I hope for them either there's somewhere you can find people to serve because that's the fastest way for me to get over my self loathing is to go find somewhere to serve people or to take the risk of saying to somebody, I am actually alone Thursday.
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:And I would, I mean, I know it's hard.
Byron:Yeah.
Jean:I would love to sit at the table.
Jean:Can I bring, I can't sit in my apartment and watch the parade and the cowboys by myself.
Tullian: lando, Florida, Christmas Day: Tullian:It will go down in history as the second worst day of my life.
Tullian:The first was sitting down and telling my kids I had cheated on their mom.
Jean:Right.
Tullian: Second is Christmas Day: Tullian:And what I would say to people is post trauma, whatever that trauma may be, in my case, a broken marriage, a broken family, traditions that had been established during the holiday season for years I'm now not experiencing.
Tullian:Traditions that I helped get off the ground I'm now not experiencing is that there will, there will be holidays that feel like that.
Tullian:It's probably only been in the last three years for me as Stacy and I have established new traditions for our family that I even like holidays.
Tullian:Holidays were always specifically Thanksgiving and Christmas were always my Most painful days after I got divorced for years.
Tullian:Years.
Jean:What was the thing Paul Zal said to you?
Jean:I love, I love the sentence.
Jean:I'm going to memorize it.
Jean:But when he said to you after you had sent him the text.
Jean:Yeah, the five hour text, what was it that he said to you?
Tullian:I sent him a short text asking him to give me one good reason to keep living right.
Tullian:And it took him five hours to respond because he was praying through what to say, knowing it could quite literally be a matter of life and death.
Tullian:And he responded and said, tullian, the purpose behind the suffering you are going through is to kick you into a new freedom from false definitions of who you are.
Jean:Man, I hope that resonates.
Jean:I hope the person that's alone.
Jean:I think for me, the thing I'm most thankful for.
Jean:I know in next season we're going to talk a little bit about shame.
Jean:I know that.
Jean:But the difference between guilt and shame is that what you do is you feel guilty for.
Jean:But if you become the bad thing you've done, that's where the shame kicks in.
Jean:And I know when you talked about, you know, your story, you ended it with that amazing quote of all the sad things coming untrue.
Jean:I think for me, what I find myself thankful for is that those people in my tribe, the people that will sit around the Thanksgiving table with me, do not associate me with everything that I've done.
Tullian:That's a good.
Jean:They have, they have, they have embraced the narrative that there is more to me than what I have done.
Tullian:Yeah, that's.
Jean:And when you sit with people like that.
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:There's nothing life giving.
Jean:It's life giving.
Byron:It's funny you mentioned that, John, because as you're, as you're saying that I'm thinking about, and I mean, we're real on this podcast.
Byron:So I'm just gonna say it.
Byron:I think about my family looking at me and I get it.
Byron:You know, when I did talk to Scott, who I mentioned, I said, where were you, dude?
Byron:Where were you?
Byron:And he said, I didn't.
Byron:We didn't know what to say.
Byron:I didn't know what to say, which is fair, gives me sympathy towards him.
Byron:But they're the.
Byron:What I did and who I am has collapsed in their mind.
Byron:It's one in their mind, it's separated in mine.
Byron:But as far as what I'm thankful for, the reason that that resonates is two things.
Byron:I have not lived the worst life.
Byron:I have not suffered the greatest comparatively to everybody.
Byron:It's always Disproportionate in our own minds and experiences.
Byron:And I don't want to give that impression.
Byron:Great kids ride or die.
Byron:All three of them are just fantastic and awesome, and I will see them, you know, in this season.
Byron:But as I think about myself, which I'm prone to do, Right.
Byron:And I think about what I'm thankful for, it's this, if any.
Byron:If the majority of people that I know, if they were in my seat right now, like, where I am in life, they would be totally panicked.
Byron:It could happen.
Byron:A lot of pressure, a lot of stress in that spot for a season.
Byron:I was.
Byron:I'm not.
Byron:And it's the oddest thing.
Byron:Ahmed and I wait till the drugs wear off.
Byron:Right.
Byron:And true, true.
Byron:Like, there is a time.
Byron:Like, am I being reckless or irresponsible?
Byron:Or I'm not just thinking, no, I know exactly.
Byron:Or did I hit in the head?
Byron:Like, what's going on?
Byron:Like, I'm like, it's not like laissez faire.
Byron:It's more like, lord's got me.
Byron:Yeah.
Byron:He's done great things.
Byron:I mean, I'm here.
Byron:Jean called me.
Byron:Craig Dixon fixed my serpentine belt.
Byron:I mean, there are all these things that have happened in my life, and I'm.
Byron:I'm.
Byron:I've prized that.
Byron:Like, I prize it.
Byron:I think it's.
Byron:In many respects, it's what everybody who has everything is after, and it's what people who have nothing kind of get.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:Because it's all they've got, sort of space.
Byron:I'm thankful for it, and I'm fearful of losing that sort of thing.
Byron:The other thing I'm thankful for is my older sister, Stacy, who I didn't see for 27 years because she was addicted to drugs, substance use disorder, in and out of treatments and stint in prison.
Byron:Nobody knew where she was for a long time, and I.
Byron:It was boundaries and bridges.
Byron:Right.
Byron:You had to put up boundaries with them because they'll destroy you if you get near them.
Byron:Swimming out to a drowning victim, get your nose broken.
Byron:But the bridges are.
Byron:Grace and I always had the bridge there for her, you know?
Byron:But still, we didn't talk for a long time, and she.
Byron:I was working with a company, contracted with a company to do some consulting, and she.
Byron:She found me on the website, started leaving voicemails at the company, like, here she goes again.
Jean:Right.
Byron:Sending me letters.
Byron:Didn't even read it.
Byron:Like, I've been through this, you know, been through this story so many times.
Byron:And I went to see my mom one day, and I knew that she might be there.
Byron:And at this point I was like, Byron, she's the only person that's going to hug the leper.
Byron:Like, let's go.
Byron:And somebody said this earlier, something to this effect.
Byron:They're not seeing me.
Byron:Never associate me with mistakes that I've made or decisions.
Byron:She's that person.
Byron:So I pull up at my mom's house and this 57 year old woman comes running out the door.
Byron:I'm her only biological, fully biological sibling and biological father's died, stepfather's died, mom's about to die.
Byron:It becomes obvious in that moment, she runs out, bear hugs me, just starts weeping.
Byron:And I knew in that moment she was back and this was real.
Byron:And she grabbed me by my face.
Byron:She was a great older sister while she was in her right mind.
Byron:And she said, I'm so proud of you.
Byron:And she said, and I've googled your name, literally said that.
Byron:And I'm proud of you.
Byron:Don't listen to any of that shit.
Jean:That is so good.
Byron:So she went through treatment again, gets out of treatment, goes into a halfways house, enters into a program to work and is literally managing a car wash in a small town.
Byron:Small town in Mississippi, which exponentially smaller, right?
Byron:But is the happiest, most peaceful and contented human being on the planet.
Byron:So I went to stay with her at her, her apartment and across the street from her apartment, you know, where Boswell Mental Hospital, you heard of that, mentally ill adults are there and you know, high functioning autistic adults and that sort of thing, they live in the strip of apartments across from her and she comes out of her house to greet me when I pull up and they're all on their porch and they're going, Stacy, like, they just love her.
Byron:And I'm like, that's awesome, dude.
Byron:Of course I didn't know who they were at the time, but I was like, how far has she come that when she comes out of her house people are applauding her, you know, like, what is this?
Tullian:That's awesome.
Byron:But she served them and loved them and I stay with her and as they say in the south, she didn't have a pot to piss in, right?
Byron:And she had gone before I got there to Walmart and had remembered all the things I liked as a kid.
Byron:She doesn't have anything, didn't have any money at all.
Byron:Counters loaded with it, all this stuff.
Byron:And we shared memories that night and we worked through our trauma together as children and the stuff that had happened with my mom and her Mental illness, had all these pictures of ourselves and all this stuff.
Byron:And then I went to leave the next day.
Byron:And she's like, do you need money?
Byron:Can I give you money?
Byron:What?
Byron:What are you talking about?
Byron:And I said, stacy, you're my fam.
Byron:You're my family.
Byron:You're my people.
Jean:I can't.
Jean:I can't not say it.
Jean:I'm sitting here listening to this and I hear in my head Jesus saying, simon, since I entered the house, this woman has not stopped wetting my feet with her tears.
Jean:So who loves much has been forgiven?
Tullian:Yeah, absolutely.
Byron:She is the least judgmental person and I'm not there yet, but she convicts me so much of people that even judged her.
Byron:So what I'm grateful for is I will be spending Thanksgiving in McGee, Mississippi.
Jean:Happy Thanksgiving, Stacy.
Byron:People from the Boswell Mental Hospital next door, who knows?
Tullian:And I mean, Stacy, wherever you are.
Jean:Yep.
Tullian:Where?
Tullian:McGee, Mississippi, Mississippi.
Tullian:I've never met her.
Tullian:I love her.
Jean:Yep.
Tullian:Seriously, who doesn't need those people in our life?
Tullian:And when you're telling the story, I'm like, I want to be that and more and how much more beautiful and redeeming and life giving is a posture like that toward a fallen person than a stone thrower.
Byron:What would Jesus do?
Byron:It'd be pretty much be like, Stacy.
Jean:He'd be eating Thanksgiving dinner.
Tullian:Yeah.
Jean:At Stacy's.
Tullian:Yeah.
Byron:It's incredible thing.
Byron:Well, love it.
Byron:Wishing you to a happy holiday and Thanksgiving and wishing our listeners, yes, a happy Thanksgiving as well.
Byron:And we want to sign off with this.
Byron:No matter how crazy your family is, no matter how crazy your life is, no matter how much the holiday season you're about to step into triggers you, brings back memory, memories and causes struggles in you.
Byron:And you may not fit into that category.
Byron:Things may be great.
Byron:We rejoice in you as well.
Byron:In both cases, just remember it is finished.
Tullian:Amen.
Jean:Amen.
Tullian:You've been listening to the misfit preachers.
Tullian:Like subscribe and share more grace centered resources@prodigalpodcasts.com that's Prodigal P R O D D I G A L podcasts with an s dot com.
