How does GRACE WORK when... you are surrounded by idiots? [S3.E7]
Chapters:
- 00:01 - Introduction to the Misfit Preachers
- 02:57 - Exploring Grace: A New Perspective
- 04:49 - Navigating Grace in the Workplace
- 11:00 - The Journey to Emotional Freedom
- 14:22 - The Role of Grace in Our Lives
- 18:17 - The Role of Grace in Self-Awareness
Dive into the wild world of grace with the Misfit Preachers as they tackle the big question: how does grace work in our everyday lives? Picture this: you’re at work, surrounded by people who seem to have been sent from another planet, and you’re just trying to keep your sanity intact. The guys—Talian, Jean, and Byron—are here to remind us that grace isn’t just for Sunday mornings; it’s the secret sauce for those awkward coffee shop moments and the frustrations of office life. They share stories that will have you laughing and cringing because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there.
With some solid laughs and a sprinkle of self-awareness, they explore how grace can help us navigate the rocky waters of human interactions. Byron’s hilarious take on workplace annoyances, like that one coworker who always asks about the email you forgot to send, is both relatable and eye-opening. You’ll find yourself nodding along as they peel back the layers of our daily struggles, reminding us that often, the biggest challenge lies not in the people around us but in how we react to them. And just when you think it’s all fun and games, they drop some serious wisdom about accountability and the importance of recognizing our own shortcomings. Who knew grace could be such a game changer?
As the episode wraps up, the Misfit Preachers leave us with an invitation to reflect on our own lives. Are we quick to blame others for our frustrations? Or can we take a step back and see how grace can transform those moments into opportunities for growth? With a mix of humor, storytelling, and genuine insight, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to sprinkle a little more grace into their everyday chaos.
Takeaways:
- Grace isn't just a churchy word; it's a way to navigate life's messiness and conflicts with a smile.
- We all have our 'idiots' to deal with, and sometimes that idiot is us! That's the real kicker!
- Self-awareness is key, and work can be a lab for figuring out why we get irritated. It's like a psychology class, but with coffee breaks!
- Paul Zahl's book 'Grace in Practice' is a must-read that dives into how grace interacts with our everyday lives and struggles.
- Life is a wild ride, and grace helps us stay on the roller coaster without losing our lunch when things get bumpy.
- Realizing we need grace is a sign of growth, like finding out you were wearing your shirt inside out all day!
Transcript
You're listening to the Misfit Preachers, Talian Chavigian, Jean Larue and Byron Yan from ProdigalPodcast.com we're plagiarizing Jesus one podcast at a time.
Speaker A:Now here are the misfits.
Speaker B:This is Misfit Preachers coming to you live from an undisclosed location.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I am with Jean Larue and Tully Intavigion.
Speaker B:As always, it's a privilege to be here.
Speaker A:Good to be here, guys.
Speaker B:Good morning, fellows.
Speaker B:Anything you want to talk about?
Speaker B:I have a subject matter.
Speaker B:Grace.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker C:Well, our season is asking and answering that question.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:How does grace work?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And it does.
Speaker B:And that's what we're discussing.
Speaker C:It's practical.
Speaker B:It's practical.
Speaker A:There is, by the way, did you.
Speaker B:Use the word practical with Tully into vision within 10ft of you.
Speaker B:That's a four letter word.
Speaker C:I felt the judgment.
Speaker C:He loves four letter words.
Speaker C:Keep going.
Speaker A:There is a.
Speaker A:As far as book recommendations go, I thought about this a few episodes ago and I failed to mention it.
Speaker A:Paul Zahl's book Grace in Practice is the manual for what we're talking about.
Speaker C:Oh, nice.
Speaker A:In this season.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker A:I mean, it's absolutely.
Speaker A:It changed my life 15 years ago.
Speaker B:What is it about the book, broadly, generally, that it's so different than other books on the subject that changed your life?
Speaker A:Paul Zahl is a theological psychologist.
Speaker A:He is an expert in the human condition.
Speaker A:So what he does in the book is he spends the first part of the book articulating the difference between law and grace.
Speaker A:Law being anything that demands anything from us, expects something from us.
Speaker A:We experience that in life all the time.
Speaker A:And then, of course, he contrasts that with grace.
Speaker A:And then he goes in the second part of the book and shows in very practical situations, parenting, marriage, life, work, you name it.
Speaker A:The difference between law and grace and the way law makes us feel and the way grace makes us feel, it's just a.
Speaker A:It's an excellent.
Speaker A:He's an idiosyncratic writer, so for some, he may be an acquired taste, but he's absolutely brilliant.
Speaker A:Very practical.
Speaker A:He earths grace.
Speaker B:Name the.
Speaker B:What's the title of the book again?
Speaker A:Grace in Practice.
Speaker B:Would you consider that to be a good primer, so to speak, for listening to us in our discussions?
Speaker A:I think so, yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, you know, Paul is a brilliant man, He's a brilliant writer, he's an academic, but the book itself is not academic.
Speaker B:Excellent.
Speaker A:But it's, it's, you know, I mean, you're gonna have to read some Paragraph twice, but it's well worth it.
Speaker B:Speaking of idiosyncrasies, that brings us to our subject matter today.
Speaker B:We're really talking about the interface of every day with other human beings and why certain people, certain behaviors, certain attitudes conflict with our desire to control our fears.
Speaker B:All those power struggles that are out there with people that we run into every day.
Speaker B:We're encouraging the listener to first of all develop a self awareness of those things and start asking questions and do that immediate discovery of why am I being irritated in this?
Speaker B:That my coffee is taking 15 minutes to get at the coffee shop, not a hypothetical situation.
Speaker B:I literally did that this morning.
Speaker B:Byron, what is wrong with you?
Speaker B:Dude?
Speaker B:Chill out.
Speaker B:But how does grace interface in those spaces where we have to face humanity?
Speaker B:And in this particular subject matter, we're going to ask the question, how does grace work when I'm surrounded by idiots?
Speaker B:That's in quotes.
Speaker B:That's the word we use in our head.
Speaker C:Right, Right.
Speaker B:If you meet an idiot at 9am and eat it at 12pm and then an idiot at 5pm, guess who you who the idiot is?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's you.
Speaker B:But how does grace work when I'm surrounded by people at work that are conflicting, difficult.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:Number one, I love the topic because when you look at the percentage of time that people spend at work versus the amount of time they spend at home, a large percentage of your life is spent at work or in a vocation or doing something where you're rubbing shoulders with a other people that aren't, people that share Thanksgiving dinner with you.
Speaker C:And so asking how the gospel applies in that particular situation without compartmentalizing it is really what we're trying to do is explode grace as a paradigm across all of life instead of just saying it matters at places of worship.
Speaker C:It matters when you're struggling.
Speaker C:It matters when you're not struggling.
Speaker C:And it's Monday and you haven't sent the email yet and somebody walks in and goes, hey, Dave, have you sent that email yet?
Speaker C:I'm trying to send the email right now.
Speaker C:There's a reason Dave lives on a hair trigger, Right?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker C:And so talking about chasing that backwards to what's.
Speaker C:What's going on with Dave?
Speaker C:I mean, he's got a lot of things cooking there.
Speaker B:Well, other people are asking that question in your office space.
Speaker B:You might as well be asking that question in your office space.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker C:Because the reality is Dave needs to ask the question.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:To have the guts to ask the question.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:That the context of work, being around Other human beings with their own skill set, their own background, who are after a common goal, the business and their own goals at the same time.
Speaker B:There's a lot of self will in that space.
Speaker B:There's a lot of self in that space and that conflict that it creates there can be viewed positively as a laboratory for your own self awareness.
Speaker A:Yes, well said.
Speaker B:A laboratory for your own self awareness where you're asking yourself the question of why did it irritate me when he came in and asked where the email was?
Speaker B:Well, let's chase that backwards for a minute.
Speaker B:Minute.
Speaker B:Why, why isn't the email prepared?
Speaker B:I had two days to prepare it.
Speaker B:What got in my way?
Speaker B:Oh, I remember I selfishly pursued this thing, pushed it off to the side, put it over here, didn't think about it.
Speaker B:And then the guy asked me the question and all of a sudden I'm held accountable to my.
Speaker B:To a deficiency in my life.
Speaker B:What was I ultimately doing in that moment?
Speaker B:I was thinking of myself, not thinking of others.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:And defending myself.
Speaker C:Because the reality is I want the person who's knocking on the door to open the trophy case with the 18 things I did instead of sending the email and hand each one of them to me with a laurel wreath around my neck and say, you are so valuable.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:And you are so amazing.
Speaker B:Super powerful.
Speaker B:Like in, in self awareness, health response in that moment is, I'm sorry, Dave, I just didn't write it because I was too consumed with watching cricket in Europe or whatever.
Speaker B:You know, I was completely self absorbed, dude.
Speaker B:I didn't write the email.
Speaker B:I'm so sorry.
Speaker B:I'll get on it right now.
Speaker B:And Dave's gonna go, I like this guy.
Speaker B:I can trust him.
Speaker B:He's honest.
Speaker B:He sees what I see and he's working on himself.
Speaker B:So that's why it's a laboratory for self awareness.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker A:And why is that?
Speaker A:Accountability that exposes a deficiency in us.
Speaker A:So unnerving to us.
Speaker A:What's going on?
Speaker B:I can answer this question.
Speaker B:Because we think we have a secret hidden deep down.
Speaker B:And it's the Emperor's New Clothes, right.
Speaker B:We think nobody notices the things that we have hidden, but everybody notices the things that we have hidden.
Speaker B:And when they point it out, it's like touching a raw nerve.
Speaker B:It's like complete instantaneous exposure of the thing that we thought we had covered.
Speaker B:But the problem is we're trying to cover ourselves with a pillowcase rather than a blanket.
Speaker B:I mean, if you're going to hide behind something, it needs to be bigger than you are.
Speaker B:And what isn't bigger than we are the avatars that we put out there that we think we're going to hide these idiosyncrasies.
Speaker C:Yeah, I love the question.
Speaker C:Because what we're looking for is the common thread between things that are seemingly disconnected.
Speaker C:Because all the things I'm about to list are intricately connected.
Speaker C:Why did Susie get that parking space and I didn't?
Speaker C:Why are they flying in first class on the way to the work trip in Vegas?
Speaker C:And I'm in coach.
Speaker C:Why did they mention Darrel's report that he gave and how well it was formatted when I'm the one who wrote the formatting for that.
Speaker C:When is the last time I got a raise?
Speaker C:Oh, they're talking about raises.
Speaker C:Yeah, like anybody cares what I do.
Speaker C:And every one of those things is the same exact thing.
Speaker C:It's just popping up in a different place.
Speaker C:And what it's really saying is my fundamental worth and identity.
Speaker C:The final verdict about Jean LaRue is cast by a parking spot, by a raise, by credit for a report, by this.
Speaker C:Instead of the fact that what I've done is I've turned away from the verdict that God pronounced about me in Christ, that Grace says it's okay, like, you do not have to contend for the top seat at the board table in doing that.
Speaker C:Not that it's wrong to be at the top seat, but when it's the thing that drives everything, we're back to idolatry, which is the problem behind all problems.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Imagine.
Speaker B:Imagine a time in the future, broadly, in the.
Speaker B:In an individual's life, people that are listening when somebody points out something in you, some idiosyncrasy, some defensiveness that comes to the surface.
Speaker B:And before, when they did it, your nervous system just was racked, you know, and you stiffened and you were defensive, or you ignored it, or you pushed away, or.
Speaker B:I know you are, but what am I?
Speaker B:Which is the greatest polemic on the planet.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You point out their flaws rather than yours.
Speaker B:Imagine a point in your life.
Speaker B:Spiritual health, emotional health, mental health.
Speaker B:Basically, sobriety of life, emotional sobriety, as it's called.
Speaker B:When somebody does it, somebody points it out and you agree and it doesn't move you in that way anymore.
Speaker B:It's like, oh, yeah, I'm doing that thing again.
Speaker B:I'm so sorry.
Speaker B:And you can explain it better than they can explain it to yourself.
Speaker B:That's freedom.
Speaker B:Bona fide freedom and healthy freedom.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And that I thank you for pointing that out.
Speaker B:I'm aware of It, I wasn't aware of it in this moment.
Speaker B:That level of receptivity to criticism and not taking it as an attack or just, quite frankly, just pointing something out that is true and you know it's true.
Speaker B:And receiving it in that way is a sign that grace has really saturated at deep places.
Speaker B:Because your identity is not in your failure, your negligence, the things that you know are true about you.
Speaker B:It's in what God has done for you, his unconditional love for you, Christ's work for you.
Speaker B:It's down here.
Speaker B:So at the bottom, I think a way to put this is that what grace causes in us is a self deprecating sort of humor, ability to kind of laugh where we used to be defensive.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A: st got to Coral RIDGE Back in: Speaker A:Coral Ridge hadn't done a men's retreat in a long, long time.
Speaker A:I'm not even sure they had ever done one.
Speaker A:And our church at that time was kind of fractured and I thought this would be a good way to.
Speaker A:So I cast the vision for this thing, explained where I wanted it to be, how I wanted it to feel, who I wanted the speaker to be, whatnot.
Speaker A:And so our leader of men's ministry organized it.
Speaker A:We ended up going to Marco island on the southwest coast of Florida.
Speaker A:Had an amazing time, absolutely amazing.
Speaker A:And at the end, day two or day three, however many days it was, the leader of men's ministry gets up to share his thank yous.
Speaker A:You know, I just want to thank so and so for speaking.
Speaker A:I want to thank my team for putting things together.
Speaker A:There were a lot of people behind the scenes that made this happen, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:And I'm sitting there, okay, waiting, I know, for him to mention my name.
Speaker A:Yes, promise you.
Speaker A:Waiting for him to mention my name.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the list was going on and on and on.
Speaker A:And I thought to myself, arrogantly, he's going to save the best for last.
Speaker A:He's going to mention me at the.
Speaker C:End, cherry on top.
Speaker A:And he never mentioned my name.
Speaker A:Like, you know, thank you so much to our pastor who had the vision for this.
Speaker A:This would have never happened unless he led our way.
Speaker A:Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:And I remember just sitting there feeling angry and deflated and driving home that afternoon, I'm like, what the hell is wrong with you?
Speaker B:He did it on purpose.
Speaker C:Say his sound.
Speaker C:Say it.
Speaker A:Yeah, so I'm, you know, I, you know, this was, now, I don't know, 15 years ago or so, 16 years ago.
Speaker A:And that still happens on a regular basis with me.
Speaker A:I'm probably more quick to recognize it now than I used to be because I'm older, a little bit more self aware, so honest.
Speaker B:It's uncomfortable.
Speaker B:It's 14 in your program, number one in your heart.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:See, that's right.
Speaker A:So this is not a problem that goes away.
Speaker A:I don't think we address these things because we are looking to solve the problem existentially.
Speaker A:It's identifying the thorn is what we're doing and recognizing that God's grace is sufficient, even though the thorn remains in our side.
Speaker A:It's not eliminating the thorn.
Speaker A:Because the false hope that people could get is if you apply grace, your problems will disappear.
Speaker A:Grace is there for you to recognize the problem and to trust that Jesus has taken care of the problem.
Speaker A:It's not there to solve the problem in this life.
Speaker C:Well, the diagnostic that you just gave that, I mean, my.
Speaker C:I'm listening for it, but I resonate with it because I feel it in myself.
Speaker C:My initial when I first was exposed to the doctrines of grace, my hope was that it was basically like physical therapy.
Speaker C:I got in there, the knee works again.
Speaker C:High five, everybody.
Speaker C:And I'm out.
Speaker C:What I know now is, is that grace is the ER and I'm going to eat out of the vending machine forever.
Speaker C:That's how this works.
Speaker C:Because what you said is not that grace has kept those thoughts from creeping into your head.
Speaker C:It's just that you are applying.
Speaker C:The continuum has condensed, and so you see it in yourself.
Speaker C:And you're like, seriously?
Speaker C:I'm sitting here during the final song of the worship service, and all I can think about is being crowned king of the universe.
Speaker C:Like Tolian.
Speaker C:You need Jesus so bad.
Speaker C:And what happens is you stand up and I've seen you do this.
Speaker C:And the prayer and the receptivity is so humble.
Speaker C:But the humility is not a virtue that is crowned on your head.
Speaker C:It is the result of an encounter with Jesus that you had in your heart.
Speaker C:It's unbelievable.
Speaker B:It's good.
Speaker B:I think as I'm thinking about this, ultimately our major issue, like in a workspace or home or wherever, where other people involved.
Speaker B:Our major problem is not those other people, it's self.
Speaker B:And what you're describing in saying these things aren't going away is the capacity to navigate self, right?
Speaker B:To recognize it, navigate it appropriately without taking other people out in it.
Speaker B:And I think what grace does, if I can say it this way, is that it creates a thick skin and a soft heart at the same time.
Speaker C:Why though?
Speaker B:The thick skin is the capacity to observe it in ourselves, to have it pointed out in ourselves and not launch in our closing argument in defense of why that's not true about us.
Speaker C:It's the capacity to lay ourselves bare reduces your defensiveness.
Speaker B:The soft heartedness is understanding that the person isn't the problem in this situation.
Speaker B:They just happen to be this providential messenger in the circumstance.
Speaker B:I'm not any longer looking to blame no one left a blame other people for even my reactions to certain things.
Speaker B:It's a.
Speaker B:It's a thick skin and a soft heart.
Speaker B:So it's the thick skin is.
Speaker B:There's no more defensiveness here.
Speaker B:I'm taking it at face value that I'm like this and the soft heart is.
Speaker B:I'm going to be gentle in my response to people when they inadvertently hit.
Speaker C:The trigger or trip the wire or intentionally.
Speaker C:Because there are people that just like to poke.
Speaker A:Of course there are.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I would add to that that for people listening who are looking for grace in their life.
Speaker A:What does it look like when I'm beginning to be grasped and gripped by this thing that you guys are talking about this power rather than or to protect people from false expectations?
Speaker A:I think the easiest way that I've been able to to describe it is the activity of grace in your life is evidenced first and foremost by an increased self awareness.
Speaker A:In other words, the primary work of grace in our lives is our growing awareness of how much grace we need it.
Speaker A:I think when we use grace to be the change agent and solve all for every problem we have and I've talked to people this way.
Speaker A:I read something to you guys in a previous episode of a conversation I had with a guy who said, you know, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm applying this grace that you're talking about in my family and it's not working.
Speaker A:My family is messier now than it was before.
Speaker A:So what's the problem?
Speaker A:Has grace failed me?
Speaker A:And you know, I said I think our expectations of what grace is intended to do are too high sometimes.
Speaker A:We expect it to solve every problem in this life and heal every hurt in this life and it doesn't.
Speaker A:It enables us to observe the hurt, to absorb the hurt and to not feel completely paralyzed.
Speaker A:In other words, like I said, the simplest way to put it is the primary evidence of the activity of grace in our life is our growing awareness of how much grace we need.
Speaker B:I think that's so well said.
Speaker C:The last word I'll give you the last word.
Speaker C:I love this conversation because at the end of the day, with the grace law paradigm, any time that I've ever wanted to live by the law, if I had picked one thing that if you could put it on my tombstone, it would say this, not I, but Christ, that would have been what I wanted.
Speaker C:And the truth is, the only way I get that is through the Gospel, through grace.
Speaker B:That's very powerful.
Speaker B:Great conversation, guys.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:You've been listening to the Misfit preachers like subscribe and share more Grace semin resources@prodigalpodcasts.com that's Prodigal P R O D I G A L podcasts with an s dot com.
